DEATH – AN UNCHALLENGED TRUTH

--thoughts from 2008--

THE DEATH OF A FAMILY FRIEND

Death in dictionary is defined as:
the act of dying; the end of life; the total and permanent cessation of all the vital functions of an organism.

Most hard hitting is the mention of: “the end of life”.

Philosophers and great thinkers have called it the most certain phenomenon. Long back, I had also seen a tattoo on a wrestler’s arm, which read: “Life is uncertain, death isn’t”.

Death…in itself is marked with agony, helplessness and unaccountable grief…

Someone had rightly remarked long back, “Love and Death arrive unannounced in one’s life. But once any one amongst the two arrives, there is no respite!”

I feel disturbed… truly disturbed.

As I was informed about the death of a very close family friend, the images of the beautiful moments spent with her flashed in my mind at one glance. Just last week, she had visited our home on a religious occasion. Extremely God fearing and full of life, she made it a point to taste the Prasad (the mandatory serve of Dal-Khichdi) offered with pickle because she liked it that way. Her fetish for food had any how taken a backseat owing to a prolonged disease. Diabetes was the main cause behind her emotional debacle. I had heard stories about how she entertained her guests who just dropped in at her nest for a Sunday brunch. Kids loved her, elders loved her, we young ones loved her…and every one else loved her. There was not a moment I remember; we had seen her without a smile on her face. Few months back when she was hospitalised, she didn’t lose her enthusiasm. Once discharged, she was back home cooking stories…making calls and making life memorable for her entire family and friends - known, unknown.

She never knew that the messenger of death was long waiting for her to come along. She might have sensed it but kept evading him for the sake of her family. She loved being amidst people and people loved being around her. Every Durga Puja celebration stands witness to her hearty laughter and spicy gossips. But surprisingly her gossips were unharmful, uncontroversial and unending. Every joke she cracked had laughter written all over them. Every wedding she attended transformed into an event of a lifetime. Every phone call she made transformed into endless conversations of a life filled with nothing else but happiness. It is unimaginable to discover that while she was hospitalised before her demise, she spent her spare time talking to her visitors. The hospital authorities had to request the visitors to leave her alone because they wanted to be by her bedside till the wee hours. No one realised how all of a sudden she was overpowered by the severity of pneumonia and she succumbed to it within hours. The absence of a ventilator made things worse. All efforts of taking her to a distant but well equipped were foiled by the messenger of death, who was armed and well prepared to take her along. She might have definitely requested him to wait for the sake of her elder daughter’s wedding. But he was adamant. He might have explained to her that he too was a slave of his Master and could do very little.

My aunt and mom visited her home to console her family members. But her loss cannot be compensated by any other entity. They both told me how her daughters reacted to their mother’s death. They told me how her husband had lost faith in himself. Lending an ear to the stories, I could never muster the courage to visit their household. I am too immature to handle such fragile situations. I can understand what they might be going through. They were so dependent on her. Because not for a moment did they feel that she would leave the family so soon and so unsuddenly. The fact is she is no more amongst us today. The truth is her daughter is getting married on the pre decided date. The reality is…we will miss her for all the years to come.

Because death is an unchallenged truth. Yesterday it was she, a day before that some one else, today a some body, tomorrow a no one and maybe in future…the clock is ticking. I understand because I too have lost a few good lives who were close to me: My Dad, My Paternal Grandpa, My Maternal Grandpa, My Paternal Grandma, My Maternal Grandma’s Mom, My Paternal Aunt’s Husband, My Distantly Related Maternal Uncle, My School Friend and many more I love and cared for…As I write this, there is somebody lying in a hospital bed counting her last days…

With a heavy heart, I would say I dislike death no matter what it looks like or what it is…But such is life, everything with a beginning has to end one or the other day gracefully or disgracefully.

- vociferous