January 30 has been special
in many ways.
So many years that this
date has been observed in the many ways. Two things have stood coincidentally
constant – 1) Gandhiji’s Death Anniversary and 2) My Birth Anniversary.
One is observed and the
other is celebrated.
There has been no twist in
the story so far.
But initially I had lived
with the juxtaposition of sharing a connection with the Mahatma who breathed
his last by chanting ‘Hey Ram’.
Thirty years later after
the Mahatma was assassinated, arrived me on the same day.
My early days of being ‘A
very different me’ proved that I was not an incarnation of the great soul who
had taken extreme steps to make us taste salt, inspire us to embrace satyagraha
and denounce a non-cooperation movement launched by his own self. I was the
extreme opposite - violently rebellious, selfishly adamant and fatally vocal. But
still there was a common element that existed between the departed and the
arrived. In love with India, was him. And in love with India still, I am.
Like a fleet of flamingos traversing across continents, the years of my life kept flying away. And
finally arrived today – Five years added to three decades of being vociferous.
Surrounded by so much that I am yet to come to terms with the surprises that
came my way.
But I wish to dedicate this
day to my maa, my both mamas, my both mami maas, my siblings, my better half,
my in-laws and to my universe of loving friends. Everybody made it a point to
wish me in their own ways. Gifts do come the way of a Birthday Guy. But the big
difference is brought by three important elements – 1) Blessings of elders, 2)
Love of beloved, 3) Wishes of world.
I am the same ‘me’ who had once self-turned life into an accident. And I am the same ‘me’ who is poised to take
a new turn. I desire to consider nothing as ordinary but tag everything and
everyone around me as EXTRAORDINARY. To be honest, I am a little selfishly
proud of my memory. Though I am in no mood to boast about my own self. But I
want to assure that I forget nothing in life. From the day, I started
understanding things; everything has just remained unchangeably with me –
Friends, Hobbies, Mischief, Crushes, Crashes, Journeys, Destinations, Dreams,
Desires, Imaginations… Nothing have I forgotten. At times, I might not call
someone for months, years and ages. But that human being and every moment spent
with remains etched in my memory.
Innocent I am not. I too
have my own faults. And I will never want to keep them veiled. Being as human
as others, I have been at my level best to misunderstand, hurt, criticize and
ignore many a souls. At the same time, being human I wish to apologize to
everyone in every way possible for being so indifferent.
My biggest disadvantages
have been my bitterness, selfishness and my habit of holding on to the past.
But having come so far, I wish to learn some new lessons. Because as human
beings, the day we stop learning; knowledge dies harshly. Being a writer at
heart and passionate by deeds, the death of knowledge will leave me thirsty forever.
Therefore in the midst of
all the invisible battles that I have been fighting against time and so much
more, I decided to take a pause… look back and say, “Hey why not live well for
once”.
And thus arrived January
30. And so did the coincidence recur of a nation observing the loss of a great
soul and an entire universe of family & friends conveying their wish to me.
The day that started on a note of worldly surprises, I shed my inhibitions to
see to it that I live this day to the fullest. With everyone I smiled. And to
every phone call, I replied. So that on this day that is today (January 30), I make
a new beginning of being more responsible towards every action and reaction of
mine.
My apologies to those whom
I have hurt and still keep hurting. And my love to all who have made me believe
in the power of love… I just wish to say ‘A BIG THANK YOU’. So beautiful was
the experience of this day that I grew a younger more, to call it – A DAY WELL
LIVED!
-vociferous
