OFFICE IDOL (Idle) – NOT BY CHOICE BUT BY FORCE

No one ever comes to office to sit idle.
No one cultivates passion for work to get accustomed to rework.
No one dresses well to look badly dressed by the end of the day.
No one takes up a job to be threatened by possibilities of rendered jobless suddenly.

Recruitment ads of recent times are extremely misleading. They paint a picture of an environment, which is more of fantasy and less of reality. On the day of the interview a prototype of a happy workplace is presented to an interviewee. Once you are in, you are trapped. All the talks about following the diktat of ‘WE NEVER WORK LATE’ fizzle out. The hope shown in you as the most prospective recruit erode away. And the little that one gets to do possibly is whine to others.

In this case, who is to be blamed? Most definitely the job seeker is to be held by his/her neck. Background check in case of taking up a new job is a tradition; we have made a practice to evade. We are driven by money, location, position and rewards. We are always unaware of the witty politics that goes around in name of professionalism, precision and perfection.

In the recent past, I stood witness to a dangerous situation to the plight of a fellow writer friend. The Project Manager at his office had announced of having bagged a prestigious project, a client now considered the czar of Indian corporate houses. The assignment revolved around creating communication material for a grave issue of recent times. As a general routine, whenever creative work arrives on the desk, the first thing to pop up in the mind is a brief or a concept note. In this case, both were either absent or invisible. The client had given a briefing three months back. But the concerned team of seniors had paid no attention to put in their efforts to create a framework for the work that was expected to be delivered. Hara-kiri was already in making. Fresh recruitments made the situation even worse. In a fit of sudden excitement, these seniors ferried all of these new recruits to the client’s office. They were equipped with some creative communication. The moment, the meeting started, everyone was in for a bumper surprise. The client screamed at the peak of her voice – THIS IS NOT WHAT I HAD EXPECTED YOU TO COME UP WITH. Everyone left the served tea unattended. The biscuits on the table lost their charm. The entire team hurried down the staircase, instead of using the lift. Panting heavily the entire team drove back to office and started recounting the course of events that had left them feeling astounded.

The next meeting was arranged without consulting the team again as to how much time they might require to develop the communication. This time over the client chose to don the role of a ringmaster and asked the entire team to revisit the office. The client knew the team was still unprepared. Therefore she strategized more intelligently. First she expressed her desire to conduct the meeting at 4 pm. After some while, it was postponed to 5.30 pm. By the time, the team had finished their lunch; the client called again at around 1.30 pm. She wanted the entire team to be present in her office by 2 pm. Like toddlers on their first trip to a picnic spot, the team hurried along to the client’s office. Once again, tea, coffee, biscuits and water were served. The laptop sprung to life and images started getting projected on a white screen. On display were posters, logos and website templates. The client neither batted an eyelid nor did she utter a word. After the presentation of 5 and ½ slides came to an end, the client rose from her throne, circled the entire team of starry eyed creative team and yelled – WHAT ARE YOU GUYS UP TO? HAVE YOU MADE UP YOUR MIND TO SCREW ME? She caught hold of the Project Manager of the creative team and asked the trembling soul to list down as to how the team was briefed. For a person whose heart had already sunk in boots, jotting down snippets from an actual brief was nothing less than committing suicide publicly. The truth was that the Project Manager knew nothing about the core concept.

An ultimatum was issued by the client this time over – YOU HAVE 24 HOURS TO PROVE YOU ARE HUMAN BEINGS EQUIPPED WITH A MIND TO THINK, HANDS TO WRITE, ONE PAIR OF EYES TO SEE AND AN INTERNET CONNECTION TO DO INTELLIGENT GOOGLING. What followed thereafter was nothing less than setting out on a Charlie Chaplin kind of an adventure. The entire team without having consumed any of the refreshments served during the meeting drove back to the office. The decision taken this time over was to spend a night in the office to create an award winning communication. Till 12.30 am and having consumed four pizzas in a row, the creative team decided it is advisable to leave and come back to office early in the morning. The new sun of the next day brought everyone back to office not before 11 am because everyone was dead tired. One of the so called Senior Managers took the lead of writing the first few lines. Coincidentally the assigned creative writer to this campaign had already triggered the campaign with a line. But that was ignored. Thousands of words were typed. Millions of ideas were bounced. And by the end of the day, the so called campaign was in place. The entire campaign was mailed to the client. And finally, the client reverted with 10% satisfactory feedback. The other 90% of satisfaction had been left seriously molested on the chair that she still occupies in her dangerously air conditioned office.

Everyone was confident, the ordeal was over. But the real game was to begin now. The creative writer was held responsible for not being supportive. The Senior Manager claimed to have churned out everything that he thought was as-perfect-as-picture. The Project Manager held the creative writer responsible for not being cooperative. The Senior Designer held the creative writer responsible for not being creative.

All the other facts revolving around the discrepancy of being unable to deliver well took a back seat. No one raised a question as to why the Senior Manager chose to fall ill suddenly? No one raised an eyebrow as to why the Senior Designer left for home by 5 pm, the other day after having consumed 4 pizzas in a row? No one raised a doubt over the Project Manager’s sudden outstation trip? But the noose was tightened around the Creative Writer’s neck. The very little that I know of him now and the conversation I had with him two weeks back, he mentioned that he has been sitting idle in his office. I asked him about what happened of being the most prospective employee of the organization? With a hint of irony in his voice, he clearly mentioned that the prospects were flushed out after one week when a client shamelessly blamed him of not being a desired professional. The truth is that the client had never checked the corrected content, this creative writer had mailed across.

As a result, the Creative Writer is left with no option in his hand but to sit idle. If he takes a newspaper out of his bag to kill the idleness that he is caught up with, a gun is held on his forehead and a bullet of man hours is brutally drilled into it.

The moral of the story is simple. Never trust those who paint a picture of what LIES in stock in the form of being a most desirable workplace. But trust those who try to build excitement around the work that you are supposed to do. And if someone says you are the next big Office Idol. Try to do a background check as to how they spell idol – IDOL or IDLE???

-vociferous