As a writer in the Freedom Month

Notes from 2016

August 06-2020/ Blog #1

I am wondering 

as to when I’ve enjoyed 

writing the most.

At times, I feel good to introduce myself as a Writer.

Writer by itself doesn’t sound like a designation.

It is a title. A title not necessarily bestowed. But an earned title.

A title, which is so close to my heart and (maybe) to the hearts of those, who know me as a writer.

I do get asked:

Are you a writer?

What do you write about?

Why don’t you write love stories?

How about trying your hands at writing a movie script?

Have you considered writing a web series?

When will you experiment with something sensuous?

Do you write porn?

After that first book how long should we wait for your second book?

What does it take to become a writer?

Which writer inspires you the most?

I don’t deem it necessary to answer all of them.

I think I am content with the fact that I am a writer.

Some might also argue that they don’t get to see much of my writings. 

I’ve never disagreed. Maybe because I am not in a mood to make everything too apparent or visible to everybody.

So here I am, the so-called Writer.

Thinking about myself and writing a little part about myself by being myself.

As a writer in the Freedom Month, I am wondering as to when I’ve enjoyed writing the most.

Naturally I’ve enjoyed writing the most when I have felt free; free of prejudice, free of malice, free of botheration. 

But then someone will again argue - Writing comes from within; it doesn’t need a day, a date or a time for something to evolve. I would again not disagree.

As a writer in the Freedom Month, I would only wish that the freedom to write is never taken away from me.

-Virtuous Vociferous/ What If/ 2020

OF MANY MAHARASHTRA(S)

OF MANY MAHARASHTRA(s), 
this abusive terrain of MAHARASHTRA 
is depressing.

A few hours ago, Zee Marathi had held me spellbound with the story of ANANDI GOPAL. And, many hours down the line, I am thinking of the many MAHARASHTRA(s); I am aware of; or all of us could be wanting to making ourselves aware of.

Of course, the MAHARASHTRA(s), which I am willing to talk and write about are different. But I wish to write this from the deepest corner of my heart – I AM HAPPY TO CALL MAHARASHTRA MY FIRST HOME; I WAS BORN HERE. THE FOOD I EAT, COMES FROM THE SOIL OF MAHARASHTRA. THE AIR, WHICH I BREATHE IS OF MAHARASHTRA. THE LANGUAGE, WHICH I UNDERSTAND IS OF MAHARASHTRA. THE HOME, WHICH WELCOMES ME BACK IS BUILT ON THIS BRAVE SOIL OF MAHARASHTRA.

Now, coming back to ANANDI GOPAL, I once again wish to say how concentrated were the efforts to bring this story to our households. We have known Anandi Gopal as the first female physician of India. I hope all of the MAHARASHTRA(s) too knows her as the first female physician of India. But have we made her a household name yet? Sadly, We Haven’t! Or some have, but we aren’t updated about! Sounds strange, isn’t it? 

Interestingly ANANDI GOPAL was born and brought up on the same land of Maharashtra, on which most of us have been brought up in. But that era was different. Yes, we prefer saying that often – ERAS DIFFER. PEOPLE AND THEIR THOUGHTS DIFFER. And, I stand to argue, where have we left the better part of MAHARASHTRA behind? Why have we even left many MAHARASHTRA(s) behind us?

At this juncture, I intend to add a little more strength to my argument. Right now in 2019, we are in MAHARASHTRA again. Of the many MAHARASHTRA(s) that I have known; of the many MAHARASHTRA (s), I recently discovered during my road trip; of the many MAHARASHTRA(s), which has been home to some of the finest people in Indian history and civilization, I am not too happy to see an ill-treating MAHARASHTRA.

I meet this ill-treating MAHARASHTRA every day. This Maharashtra is not found starting a day with the song of GARJA MAHARASHTRA MAJHA. This Maharashtra is found bouncing abuses every morning. What kind of MAHARASHTRA is this? People walk on feet to catch only a whimsical glimpse of Lord Vithala during the month of Ashad. People carry palanquins on their bare shoulders to show their faith in their Lord. People forgo non vegetarian food for a month to welcome their favorite Lord Ganesha home. And this is the same MAHARASHTRA, which addresses each other as Motherfuckers. Yes, of the MAHARASHTRA, I am speaking about, this is the everyday code of conduct. 

This abusive MAHARASHTRA is the most depressing part of all the MAHARASHTRA(s), we are proud of; I am immensely proud of. No one is spared in these MAHARASHTRA(s). The saga begins with Mothers. Then it travels to Sisters. When desperation sets in, this saga catches hold of the throats of Wives, Lovers, Partners, Friends, etcetera, etcetera.  

OF MANY MAHARASHTRA(s), this abusive terrain of MAHARASHTRA is depressing. I am curious to know, how can ‘being abusive’ motivate someone to greater extent! If it does, then of many MAHARASHTRA(s), this is the best. And if I see no one still feeling motivated, then this MAHARASHTRA is not the dream of Tilak, Gokhale, Savarkar, Mangeshkar, Madgoolkar, Shantaram, Kotnis, Ambedkar, Phule, Patkar, Sakpal, Bhosale or other greats. 

To conclude, I can only thank the legacy of many better versions of MAHARASHTRA(s), which I have luckily been able to discover and learn about. As for what ANANDI GOPAL could have stood to hear of or tear off from the loud abusive MAHARASHTRA(s) of recent times? Just cannot be imagine.

So, till the time when all the abusive MAHARASHTRA(s) learn to behave, I shall look forward to those MAHARASHTRA(s), which gave birth to real stories of Jijabai, Muktabai, Savitribai, Ramabai, Ahilyabai. Or to the story of that one man, who stood at the peak of Raigad and thought of Swarajya. At least I can stay safe from an abusive morning audience of the sick-tongued, depressing MAHARASHTRA(s) within the hearts of less known MAHARASHTRA(s).

- Virtuous Vociferous | August 19 | August Blog-2 | Never Settle | 2019

IN HOT AND COLD PURSUIT OF MY OWN WORDS

Ever since, I’ve started reading Karl Ove Knausgård's ‘A DEATH IN THE FAMILY’, the first book in his ‘My Struggle’ series, one line has stayed with me. On the 218th page, he reveals – Writing is more about destroying than creating. Let me add, people who aren’t passionate about reading or not remotely interested in writing, will definitely get this line wrong, absolutely wrong. It is not just a line; but it is a deep insight. An insight, Karl Ove Knausgård credits another writer with. He speaks about Jean Nicolas Arthur Rimbaud, who seems to have realized this, at a very early age. But my second only post for the month of August is not about discussing Knausgård’s books or Rimbaud’s philosophy. This blog post is driven by the insight – Writing is more about destroying than creating. 

As someone had said in the past, it’s difficult to understand some of my writings. Initially I took it as a scathing remark and criticism of my work too. But I think, I misinterpreted. I feel so because they have never been close to the passion of writing or to the habit of reading. At the same time, everyone has the equal right to react towards anything and everything. 

I wish to simplify it further. Not many years before when social media exploded in our lives, we took to it like fish to water. After the debacle of Orkut, my writings found a new home in Facebook, a studio apartment in twitter and a penthouse in LinkedIn. The sense of freedom was so immense; I chose to develop a new identity of my own. Even though this newly designed identity demands a complete story of its own, I wish to push ahead by saying that Virtuous Vociferous is my alter ego on Facebook. On twitter, I am @puruthegreat; on LinkedIn, I’ve stuck to my presence as Purnesh Bhattacharya. Under all names, I chose to write what I think, I should; because I believed in my thoughts. I never gave it a thought that the outer world is equally interested in my thoughts. No I didn’t give it a second thought, because I was not completely interested in the thoughts of others. Thus began my journey of words.

Sometimes I went too far; at times, I stayed too close and on most occasions, I wrote seamlessly without any apprehension in my mind. As my words grew braver, my text bigger and my thoughts wider; the outer world deep dived in my writing matters. 

Recently someone read this on my LinkedIn page - The habit of asking too many questions might go against you in the real world. Especially when others don't believe that asking questions are the first necessary steps to lead change from front. The person who read this, first liked this post and then went out announcing to the world that I am writing dangerous things on LinkedIn. My writings/posts on Facebook met with the same fate. Objections, opinions and oddities swarmed together, which eventually led to me deciding to stop sharing my thoughts, up loud or clearly on Facebook. I don’t know, who decided to take things in their control and start telling me that I was revealing more than what could meet the eyes of my contenders. Prior to that, a school friend of mine had made fun of the length of my writings on Facebook; he chose to even ask a stupid question – How much does Facebook pay you to write so frequently and so much on your wall? Initially I chose to brush him aside. But he didn’t stop there; he started posting filthy comments on my writings. I didn’t block him. I only blocked him when he thought that advertising his recent hobbies was really cool on Facebook. His length of thoughts seemed to spill out of his own wall on Facebook. Some more recent digs over a year led to me abandoning writing on Facebook, LinkedIn and even twitter. Then came Instagram and life changed. But more than social media platforms, some beautiful people (beautiful by heart) made me change my mind and recharged my mind to start writing across all social media platforms; on which, I am very much active.  

Therefore, in hot and cold pursuit of my words, I can’t wait to restart. The philosophy which went into developing Virtuous Vociferous or @puruthegreat can’t ever stop midway. To conclude, if you are still reading this and still are in a mood to create your own opinion about me, go ahead; my journey has just begun.

- Virtuous Vociferous | August 26 | August Blog-2 | Making of the story | 2018

IN THAT PERSONAL SPACE OF ‘I BEING ME’

In times of uncertainty, we delve deeper. We develop a habit of interrogating every cause and their immediate effect. Being human, we are more inclined towards evidence, which can be documented, disbursed.

These are also the times, when we are caught in the radar of adversaries. They never reveal their real identity. They hide behind masks. They are ten steps ahead of us. They wait to strike with their flappy plans. They see their favorite prey in us.

Things grow murkier, when we, the uncertain us, join hands with our adversaries to follow what they claim to be the best; also certain about. This agreement is based on the pure insight of we supposedly seeking support to sustain our sinking belief, faith and trust in us. We are too late to realize; this is how we make ourselves available to be taken for granted. In short, we cross over to an unknown territory, a space where we don’t belong to, a space which only belongs to our adversaries. Forget it, shit happens, things stink; we need to move on.

Thus, I decided to differ and use this opportunity to create a personal space of mine. This is that personal space of ‘I being me’. I am at no one’s mercy. I am in no one’s favor. I am the one to decide, when I am faced with a single challenge or an army of unthinkable contingencies; as to whom I am answerable to; whom I am not answerable to.

When I am in that personal space of ‘I being me’, I am not sure of my actions going down well with everybody. I might sound very less demanding of others; I might seem very excessively demanding of me, myself. This space could make me grow nasty or turn me into a beast of worst things. Time suggests, I take complete advantage of this space. Trust me, I have started doing that.

Now the question arises of whether I stand to hurt the feelings of those, who are trying to help me through uncertainties. It is up to them to decide. I haven’t spoken a single word, which is bitter in taste; neither would I act against their instincts. Only my response would be ill-timed or probably out of context. If they trust me, they will continue to respect this space. If they don’t, they can each their own. On an honest note, favors are not forgotten; they are to be done justice with. Why would I be different then?

Right now, I am in a happy space. It did involve the much anticipated bit of struggle to find my way into this space. But I am left with no regrets. Neither do I repent over the wrong decisions, which only ended up making me more vocal to demand what is right with regards to my fundamental right.

‘I being me’ is a selfish little space of being content. I am not seeking solidarity in here, but I am aware about its existence. This space may make one grow intolerant. The levels of discomfort may hit an all-time high. But this move is a constructive activity; the steps already taken or to be taken are of statistical nature; the overall objective is to surrender to this space and rediscover the nature and the character, I am made of.

To conclude, if I am a being, I have the right to claim, to create, to construct and to constitutionalize what I truly believe in. Since I am not just a being, but a human being, who is endeavoring to be different, I don’t need your permission. I just wish to continue being in that personal space of I BEING ME.

PS: Dedicated to the seventh month of all months – July… and to the one born in this month of July.

- Virtuous Vociferous | July 29 | July Blog-5 | Making of the beast | 2018

THE RAINY PREFACE

The first thought

10.45 PM – It is raining

10.45 AM – It was raining

I am seated in the farthest suburb of Mumbai, which according to residents of SoBo (South Bombay) can’t even stand eligible to be addressed as NoBo (North Bombay). I am seated in my very own corner, writing this piece; also thinking, how nothing has changed in a course of 12 hours. Not the people, not the conversations, not the conspiracies; nothing at all has changed. Neither do I expect them to change because it is me, who has to become the change.

Skipping work came naturally. I am happy I skipped making fool of myself as well. As the rains kept lashing, journalists of innumerable news channels turned into weather experts and kept reporting bullshit. But am I supposed to complain? Nah! Instead I kept staring at the rains, from the comfort of my dream home. Every drop of rain left me with these lines, which I call the rainy preface (also the title of this blog) –

TODAY IT RAINED

TODAY IT POURED

I STOOD DRENCHED

FOR A MOMENT, I FELT

ARE THESE RAINS CAPABLE ENOUGH

OF MELTING A MORTAL BEING LIKE ME?

ME… THE @#@*@#@*@#

The special characters form the name of my second book. For days, I’ve wanted to start working on my second book. I invested an entire year, thinking of it. I invested an entire year, trying to adjust to it. Interestingly, I invested two years extending my seva, my meva to a place, which in return has given me new lessons to learn from for a good life (this line is dedicated to the advisors, who will continue holding me wrong for all reasons and once again ask me to not get frustrated, stay diplomatic, decent).

The Final Thought

11.00 PM – It is raining

11.00 AM – It was raining

Away from the trappings of emotions, WhatsApp messages, birthday wishes, Facebook likes & dislikes; I lived through a peaceful day. This day was exactly the kind of day I wish to have a constant affair with. I drove in my car, walked below my umbrella and continued conversing with some intelligent minds. Some questions did come my way. I chose not to answer them. I am sure, some will come advising me again of being obsessed and being wrong. Having decided to follow what the heart prompts, I continued being myself and kept chanting a mantra for my well-wishers – My Foot, My Foot, Foot, Foot, Foot. They disappeared!

Concluding on a happy note by saying… Writing begins and continues every single day!

- Virtuous Vociferous | July 9 | July Blog-3 | Making of the beast | 2018