SHE WILL WAIT FOR ME

She is a love story.

She is a heartbeat. 

She is no secret. 

She comes dressed in a lemon-yellow shade of wild butterflies. She is slowly walking behind the hurricane like office crowd; she has put on moderate makeup; she is not pretentious of being a little late than the decided time to meet; she is smiling. Of late, she seems a bit harrowed by the pressing demands of a scorching September heat and faltering monsoons. At first sight, I am besotted by her. She is a love story, I wish to repeatedly narrate. She is a heartbeat. She is no secret. She is Kolkata.

To others, this might seem like a mere coincidence. But for me, this is reality. I am missing her immensely. My plight is that of an addict, to whom the reason of intoxication (read reason of happiness) is forbidden. Since, she is Kolkata, my emotions are running high due to some known reasons:

Reason #1: YouTube is sharing suggestions of videos dedicated to Durga Puja. Also on the playlist are those jukeboxes of Dhak Music for Durga Puja (each spanning over 60 minutes).

Reason #2: Twenty minutes into the Soumik Sen directed Bengali movie MAHALAYA instantly reminds me of the timeless tradition, I have been following – listening to Birendra Krishna Bhadra’s recitation of Mahishasur Mardini.

Reason #3: As I am about to finish reading Biswanath Ghosh’s book about his experience in Kolkata (Longing Belonging – An outsider at home in Calcutta), he leaves me feeling emotional again. It is this description on page 187, which moisten my eyes; through his words, he is painting a portrait of the euphoria, I feel along with millions of Bengalis, about the arrival of Durga Puja.

When the flowers of Chatim, devil’s tree, begin to drench the nights with their sharp, seductive scent, you know Goddess Durga and her four children are on their way to a pandal near your home. 

I feel, with every passing day, she is making it so impossible to stay away from her. Especially during the upcoming Durga Puja, I wish, I could be with her. No doubt, she says something very amazing about herself – I am myself, the city of joy. It’s so tough to not love those, who come to my life. For the few days or the lifetime that they continue being in my life, I make sure that they don’t leave. And even if they wish to leave, they do so by feeling the joy of being with me.

Romantic and rebellious; often taken for granted on certain occasions, she walks by my side in the park. I am almost caught unawares, when she suddenly takes my hand in hers, looks deep into my eyes and asks – Will you not come to be with me during Durga Puja? I stare at her blankly. I hesitantly pull out my mobile phone to check the calendar. My heart cowers when I tell her – Sorry. I can’t!

She turns her eyes away from me. She looks straight into the horizon, where the waving waters of Mother Ganges are merging with the skies. A boat passes through. She looks at me again and tells me with a drop of tear in her eyes – I will miss you. I repeat – I will miss you (too).

Today when I call her, in a trembling voice, she tells me – I am a little upset. I stay quiet. All of a sudden, she says – Hey. I am fine. I hear her get excited over some suggestions, she eagerly wishes to share with me. I don’t stop her. After she is done with her long list of suggestions in one breath, I break her heart again. I tell her – I will try. But I know, I will not succeed. Maybe next year.

City of joy, as she loves to be known and addressed; she quietly listens and tells me – You can come down any time of this year. Let’s celebrate our lost moments of Durga Puja by being happy together.

I am about to disconnect the call, when I hear something playing in her background. I ask her – What’s that sound?

Joyously she replies – Someone is playing Dhak in the background. Durga Puja is round the corner.

Finding it tough to fight back my tears, I grow silent for some while. Then I tell her – From next year, every year, during Durga Puja I shall be with you.

She hears me and says – I am your city of joy. Your one and only Kolkata. Come to me anytime; I will eagerly wait for you.

- Virtuous Vociferous | September 18 | September Blog-2 | Never Settle | 2019